Why do people end up with an identity crisis?
‘’Without anger, there is no enemy. When ‘hatred’ consumes us, we perceive enemies everywhere’’ – Anonymous
They say that our childhood memories mark the best times of our life. We are new entrants in this world and as such, we often self-absorb the illusion of the world being a beautiful place. We are told about all the joys in life. But as we grow up, as we start taking control of our senses, we start feeling pressures of multiple sorts building up all around us; suffocating us. Our expectations are never met and we start feeling disappointed about everything in life. To top it up, it just doesn’t happen once. Now some are righteously inclined and take it all as a challenge to try harder, whereas others take it as something to fear about and sadly let this fear consume their very existence.
How do people end up with phobias?
This fear could be from birth, or developed in any later stages of their lives. What builds up this fear? Well, an unfortunate or an unexpected event crushing their vision of their future. A thing that starts haunting them day in and day out. A thing which becomes their living nightmare. It becomes a phobia. And when something becomes a phobia, the general attitude we all wear is to run away as far as possible from that fear; that phobia. In simple words, we seek solace in refuge. But what we don’t understand, or what we lack the strength to accept, is that the more you run away from this fear, the more it engulfs and entangles you in its clutches. The hold stiffens you up.
How is revenge or a feeling of vengeance a bad idea?
We start developing an inexplicable anger or hatred towards everything and everyone in our life. Some try to escape into the world of intoxications, some say adieu to sanity and some just accept these fears as they are and linger forever, consumed in its grasp. But there are only a few brave souls who try and fight this fear. Yet unfortunately, the majority of these start facing the wrong directions! They choose the path of vengeance and revenge, which is obviously knocking at the wrong doors. Why do I call them the wrong doors? It’s because I feel that the search for answers brings knowledge, and knowledge about anything, comes with a price. For example, Eve’s insolence did bring about knowledge, but it came studded with an immortal curse on mankind. So the price basically translates to an absolute lack of ‘peace of mind’. Many literary geniuses of old have propagated about this loss. Jonathan Swift being a prominent advocate. Why do I and all the literary greats advocate contentment? The answer is one that is spoken from experience. In the end you’ll realize that the more you try and see, you’ll find yourself knowing lesser than ever! That’s why they say, that before you embark on a journey of vengeance, be sure to dig two Graves instead of one. Cause the ‘very you’ in you will be dead by the time you quench your revenge.
Learning to deal with fears and insecurities
‘If you don’t become the ocean, you will be seasick everyday’ – Leonard Cohen
Now how to deal with this fear? In order to defeat your demons, in order to overcome your fears, you must first yourself become the fear. You must become Satan to these demons! A Constantine will always find himself fighting them off, forever and ever. But if you are successful in ‘camouflaging’ yourself as Satan to these demons, they will all kneel down before you!! What I mean to say is that you must accept these demons as a part of your own self rather than thinking of them as external threats. Once you succeed with the above, the rest now becomes easy. The internal loop is finally gone, only the solution needs to be sought out now. Excuse me but are you building up apprehensions? Well before you can begin with anything, you’d have no option but eat such doubts up, all of them and spit them out in one go. Then you’re prepared for the rest of the journey. The demons within us feed on our fear, and when there is none left, these wicked demons will starve, languish, suffer and finally die.
Of course it’s going to be tough. If it’s not, there will be no progress made! Infact, it’s going to be one hell of a painful transition. You’ll have to step out of your comfort zones, those dark solitary corners of your homes and face your fear like never before! Because this time it’s our own selves that we must fight. We’ve got to tame our instincts so as they do not cling upon comfort zones. Usually these zones are erroneous and hurtful and we stick to them in order to prevent an absolute breakup. You’ve got to settle it all between your mind and your heart. That’s why they say that the fight within is the hardest. It takes courage to confront ourselves day in and day out! Again and again! But without pain, without sacrifice. We would have nothing, done nothing, felt nothing, and most importantly achieved nothing! (Batman anyone?)
How to achieve contentment in life: Why is an absolute inner peace so blissful?
Living without any and all fears is the best thing one can ever feel. You might lose a few people/things or statures you’ve clinged painfully onto for long. But it’s all a part of the transformation process, for its wisely said that it’s only when we’ve lost everything, that we can feel free to do anything! That is, when all the demons, all the fears, all past apprehensions are slaughtered. When we reach the other side, there is nothing but pure bliss in our lives.
Remember. You finally become what you think you are. The person you are destined to be in your future, is the one you choose to be today. So make your choices wisely and start working upon them. Follow what your heart craves for. Don’t try and run aligned with the world’s definition of sanity. ‘Their sanity’ is doing nothing but dragging us all behind. Don’t censor yourself to comfort their ignorance. Be a voice, not an echo! For no one else but you, are in charge of yourself, and you’ve got to make your own world and shape your own future!